The big fat Indian wedding!

The big fat Indian wedding!

From glitters, pandals, decorations, set ups to expensive designer outfits- the bridal heavy lehengas, mehendi, haldi, jewellery, shagun ki thaali, invitation cards (mind it, it’s the most tedious job of distribution!) to sangeet, return gifts (Uff!) and of course the eater’s delight the wide spread variety of cuisines that ranges from chat, Chinese, Punjabi, desserts and mouth watering dishes are indeed an extravagant, flamboyant, ‘larger than life’ affairs, and why not for it’s one of the most special occasions in life!

So many dreams, planning from choosing the right saree to the matching jewellery, hair styles to venue to the meticulous details you need to be careful of! And how can you forget the band- baaja, tunes where all young and old dance their hearts out to the latest peppy beats, be it ‘kombdi palali’, ‘ata mazi satakli’ or ‘chikni chameli’ when there is no particular style, choreography, and that’s what we call ‘Ganpati dance’- just to shake a little and throw your limbs in air.

Well, when it’s an ‘Indian’ wedding, there ought to be a series of customs and rituals actually ‘social practices’ that one has to complete! Along with a fortune of expenses, there is an enormous exchange of gifts like sarees for ladies and towels, topi (the Gandhian cap) for the men. What I hate the most is to practice something for the sake of it. People don’t even use the materials as it’s purchased in bulk to be economically feasible and hence most of the times is of ordinary quality and price. Then raises a hustle- bustle between aunties to discuss the utmost unimportant thing in this world- about all those give- and- take gifts, discussing the ‘wholesale price’ and scrutinizing the texture of these materials. Really? Also, because it is not used it is circulated within and change many hands. (Many of those who have gone through this will agree ;)) And if someone gets a better piece of cloth there is a big sigh of disappointment. Then there are other formalities of hospitality, veneration and ‘looking after’ guests that we Indians give overt importance. That they didn’t treat us well, when in reality we know that the hosts have been pre-occupied with a dozen of people and activities around. Sometimes, we expect a lot beyond human capacity. Let me remind all those attention seekers of the phrase ‘No one is perfect!’ Some people just enjoy pointing flaws than seeing the larger picture.

What I actually want to point out is that we give too much importance to petty things and sideline the goodwill and overlook the amount of efforts one takes to make a marriage happen. Also, it’s high time we stop all the ‘aaher’ (exchange gifts) business. Well many mention ‘no gifts accepted, only blessings!’, but at the end, the same old adage applies- ‘Who will bell the cat?’ who will stop these unnecessary customs?

Another issue that peeves us (analytically reasonable audience) off is the fact that the wedding dominantly needs to be hosted (i.e. funded) by the bride’s parents. And if it’s not dowry, there are ornaments, utensils and house-hold commodities to be gifted as part of the ‘shaadi ka basta’. Common sense would tell you it’s illogical, especially when it is an equally important affair for both the bride and groom.

Well, after all, Indian weddings are great ‘get- togethers’, a splash of enjoyment, an occasion of celebration, a break from the rut of routine, freaking time with cousins, that joyful nudging of bhaiya-bhabhis, chacha chachis and yet new relationships! Let not petty issues overshadow the bigger picture, for the big fat Indian wedding is always a special memory captured in those video reels and big fat albums treasured forever!